My mother was missing. I was about 10 years old, and I was really confused.

They left to find my mom. They found her in her friend’s house and she has been staying there for days. They patched things up between dad and mom, and I’m just thankful to God that He saved my family from a very broken and impossible situation.

My mom went back to Taiwan after her vacation. She would work there for another year. Some people in church who knew what happened would sometimes ask me if I have forgiven dad. I would thoughtlessly say yes.

The father I was looking for suddenly became a bad example. I loved my mom very much and it really hurt me when I saw her crying and lonely. It was the only time I really felt the weight of the sin my dad committed. As I entered high school, I thought I have forgiven him but in fact I haven’t.

I started being aloof with him. The gap just got wider and wider for I knew he was also somehow mad at me because when I was a child I was being bullied as gay.

Mom’s contract ended and she went back again. Dad decided to leave again and work abroad for I was about to graduate from high school and enter college. He left and we never fixed our conflict.

But I knew he loved me. I thank our church for helping me recover in the process. But while helping me to heal, some of them also broke me. I used to receive taunts and insults from some people for they noticed that I had idiosyncrasies uncharacteristic of macho men. This hostility led me to hide my homosexual struggle from them. There was no environment for openness that would encourage transformation. The people I thought would understand and help me were the ones who hurt me.

(To be continued on April 8.)

Rowpen Jobert Sabat

In French, sabat can be a nickname for a noisy or rowdy person. It came from the Middle French word sab(b)at which means noise or racket. With all honesty, this definition could pretty much speak for a general appraisal of Rowpen at face value. Just exclude the rowdy part. On the other hand, sabat is also a derivation from the German ornamental name Sabbat, which is originally Shabat in Hebrew—the day traditionally consecrated for Yahweh. Rowpen wants to live his life according to these two definitions: a life that makes a joyful noise unto Yahweh. He is a part of his local church’s music ministry, and is one of Musikatha’s lead worshiper.

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