Posted by Rowpen Jobert Sabat
September 15th, 2011 
1 Comment
Loneliness (Conclusion)
While loneliness is not wrong in itself, our responses to it often heighten our pain and emotional stress. So the question we must ask is, How do we deal with our loneliness?
Few feelings sting as deeply as loneliness. When we’re lonely it seems as if nobody cares or notices. That’s how the servant girl Hagar felt. Abram and Sarai (who later have their names changed to Abraham and Sarah) longed for children. Stricken with infertility, Sarai suggested that Abram sleep with her Egyptian maidservant. Abram did so, and Hagar conceived. Upon hearing the news, Sarai began to mistreat Hagar even though Hagar simply obeyed orders. Hagar fled to the desert when she could no longer take Sarai’s abuse. An angel of the Lord found the lonely servant in the desert and told her to return to her mistress. Then the angel announced that the child Hager was carrying would be a son, and she should name him Ishmael “for the Lord has heard your cry of distress” ( the Hebrew word Yishma`e’l which means God will hear, Gen. 16:11 NLT). Moved by God’s pursuit of her in the midst of her loneliness, Hagar declared, “You are the God who sees me. Have I truly seen the One who sees me?” (v.13). She called God with the name El Ro’i, the God who sees.
Names are important in our culture, but not as important as they were in Old Testament times. In ancient Jewish culture, your name was your essence, your identity. Jewish parents would give their child a name they hoped he or she would one day live up to.
The more names given to someone, the more powerful that person was considered. Rulers and military leaders had several names. God has more than 200 names in Scriptures, each revealing an aspect of His powerful character. And as we’ve seen, one of those names—El Ro’i—was uttered by a lonely servant girl.
From that “5 years ago” and up to now, I’m still experiencing loneliness, pains and struggles, arriving even to the point of literally being isolated from others. But I have not forgotten the lesson: That God sees me right where I am–in pain or in rejoicing, among friends or in deep isolation. He sees, and more, He responds.
In my devotion, when “the Word became human and made his home among us” (John 1:14 NLT), Jesus entered fully into human experience. God sees us in our loneliness and loves us enough to pursue us by becoming our neighbor and our friend. He enjoyed horizontal relationships as he taught and lived with His followers. And throughout His life, Jesus enjoyed a vertical relationship with His Father. But then in His final hours “all the disciples deserted him and fled” (Mt. 26:56). To lose these relationships at the time of His greatest needs must have been painful beyond imagination. But although Jesus’ friends had deserted Him, God was still present. He walked with His Son through the beatings, through the pounding of the nails, through the taunts of the soldiers. But then came the horrific, time-shattering moment when Jesus took on our sins and even His Father turned away. Jesus cried out, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” (Mt. 27:45 NLT)
That’s when Jesus entered the realm of complete loneliness. Jesus experienced emptiness, sadness, despair–all the emotions that I have ever felt–but His were to a much greater degree.
In the past, I sometimes responded to my loneliness by choosing an item from the world’s menu that would make me feel better–temporarily. These choices proved unfulfilling and some destructive. In recent weeks God has shown me that His solution involves reaching out first to Him and then to others. Just like the two great commandments.
First, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, allyour mind, and all your strength” (Mk. 12:30) God gave us the gift of loneliness so that we would recognize first and foremost, our need for Him.
When I feel lonely, I seek God and pour out my thoughts. I’m honest about what hurts, even to the point of admitting that sometimes it feels as if He is the one to blame for my loneliness. Trusting God at this level did not happen overnight, but rather over time. As I’ve sought Him through meditation and solitude, our relationship has become more intimate, simply enjoying being in His presence.
Second, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mk. 12:31 NLT). Loneliness provides a unique opportunity to evaluate current relationships with family, friends, and coworkers so that we can find new ways to deepen the ones that are healthy. I often seek out older mentors and ask them how they handled times of loneliness.
Here are some words that my mentor told me:
“You know what? Loneliness is given to the brave. It is given to soon-to-be heroes. Leaders. History makers. Trend setters and Trail blazers. When I’m lonely, I sink in it and drown myself until I realize that loneliness has an end and I must get up again and continue my journey and continue to fight. That’s what I do. Loneliness often becomes a tool for God to shape my character. I become more meek and quiet, still and more reliant on Him.”
Now, whatever happens in my life that causes me loneliness, I just follow the example of our Lord Jesus Christ did. With His final breath, He cried, “Father, I entrust my spirit into your hands!” (Luke 23:46 NLT).
The only thing that we can do is turn to God. Jesus understands our loneliness. No matter how great the pain, Jesus’ pain went deeper still. Every time I turn to God, I sense Him say, “I am always with you. There is nothing you can experience that I haven’t felt deeply.” And that’s really comforting.
When was the last time you turned to God and poured out yourself to Him? He’s waiting. Trust His heart. 
