Boring. Boringer. Boringest.

This would have been a fitting epitaph for all of the Twilight Saga’s movie versions. Twilight (directed by Catherine Hardwicke) is a lullaby masquerading as a movie, while New Moon (directed by Chris Weitz) is as frustrating as me attempting to extract excitement from enduring Ocean’s Eleven. So I never really had high hopes for Eclipse because I might just be the exact opposite of Greg Norman who once sagely confessed, “I’m disappointed, but I’m not going to run around like Dennis Rodman and head-butt somebody.”

Then the hour drew nigh. After seeing Eclipse, I had nothing to say but “What a facelift!”

Wisely reassigned to yet another director (David Slade this time), the latest Twilight Saga installment has a more focused and compelling story than its predecessors. Twilight and New Moon feels more like a collection of scenes lifted from a novel for the sheer sake of producing a rough motion picture equivalent. Eclipse is different.

The evolution of blockbuster

This time around Bella (Kristen Stewart), Edward (Robert Pattinson) and Jacob (Taylor Lautner) are real characters rejuvenated by real dialogue in a real story that builds up in real conflict. I particularly appreciate that Edward and Jacob have more time to squabble here. I mean, thank Slade they’ve finally given some justice to the overrated Team Edward vs. Team Jacob media blitz they’ve been blitzing about.

Speaking of blitz, Eclipse may be better than Twilight and New Moon but I still think that there’s nothing so extraordinary about it for it to receive the hype it is graciously accorded. Well. Pattinson and Lautner might be hype-worthy for many girls so maybe I should just leave it at that.

I still feel sorry for Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard) whose character will probably go down in silver screen history as the lamest villainess ever for possessing the superpower of getting chased away when she’s not busy staring at her preys from a pathetic distance. Worse, she’s teamed up here with a vampire villain named Riley (Xavier Samuel) who lacks as much character. For some reason, the way their character is handled makes me feel unthreatened by them. Meaning, they are ineffective movie characters. I haven’t read the book; maybe they are better portrayed there.

Love triangle. Thank God I’ve never been involved in any

Now. The disturbing part.

If I feel sorry for Victoria and Riley, I feel sad for Bella.

Bella and Edward’s intimacy INTENSIFIES here. More smooching and more cuddling. I especially hate the fact that these happen given the circumstance that she’s just a high schooler (Edward’s 109 years old).

And what a surprise. Bella coaxes Edward to have premarital sex with her! My eyes popped out FULL BLAST in shock. This makes Eclipse a sick movie. If this is the love story that’s supposed to define today’s youth generation, Hollywood must consider revamping its values and becoming more responsible with the degree of influence it is able to exert on the youth.

When villains try to be significant by ganging up on Edward (Haha)

Edward refuses Bella. But things get more revolting here. Apparently, Edward refuses not because of any moral conviction but simply because it’s the custom in the era he comes from (late 1800s?). The movie even makes a distinction between Edward’s values and Bella’s values as “ancient” and “modern,” respectively.

What. In. The. World.

So, Bella is modern because she’s for premarital sex? And Edward is ancient because he isn’t? God, I feel Jurassic.

In another scene, Bella hints to her dad that she and Edward don’t have sex by calling Edward “old school.”

This is just as sick and twisted as it could possibly be.

In Twilight, Bella’s uninteresting. In New Moon, she makes Jacob drool like a dog (in human form) for her attention, and then she makes him asa. (Don’t we guys just hate it!) And now, in Eclipse, she makes me wonder if I just saw 90210 instead of Twilight 3.

Given their immense popularity, Bella and Edward’s character should embody more positive values. Edward’s concern with the soul’s eternal destiny remains a latent plot that could provide redeeming value for the Saga. Don’t they realize that there’s a movie-going market out there that’s willing to patronize morally sound movies?  Unfortunately, however, Hollywood filmmakers have been enjoying their decadent path to blockbuster:

Evil. Eviler. Evilest.

Here’s hoping this wouldn’t someday be a fitting epitaph to Hollywood movies.

Saw this one with Rencel and Cheche  

Jade

Jade is naturally horrified by Mathematics in the same degree that activities which require stamina, agility and athleticism ruins his day. But far from being a couch potato, he bought a brand new Ab Rocket (for an amazingly discounted price) which he plans to use while watching TV and DVDs—activities with which, for him, either society’s moral ascent or descent can be pretty much discerned. He co-hosts a web-radio show on The Edge, and recently went back to school studying Film.

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